This morning I was frustrated. I was thinking too much, and I couldn't turn off my brain, and I just really needed to find an answer to a question in my life. I spent hours this morning pondering on it to no avail...I was still just as frustrated as I was first thing. I just decided to let it go...
I was supposed to have plans this evening, but late this afternoon those plans changed...which to begin with I was sad about, but it freed me up to go to a meeting I had been planning to skip. I found my answer in a quote that was shared at that meeting, and then I was sooooo grateful for the change!
"Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace."
~Ezra Taft Benson
What an amazing promise! I am so grateful for the ways the Lord works in my life to make sure that I have access to the answers that I seek for. I am so blessed to have the people and the programs in my life that help me along in my journey...
Z
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Falling in Love...
I am a clumsy person, and I often fall. I have fallen in holes, ditches, mud puddles, piles of muck, pretty much anything you can think of...but I have never "fallen" in love.
I have been in love before. But that love came through patience, time, commitment, dedication, and work...it didn't just HAPPEN like when you fall into something.
In this world of instantaneous-ness (no that's not a word, but no I don't really care :P) almost everything happens right away, and I think sometimes we forget that just because something isn't right there right now doesn't mean it's never going to happen. Love is a strange feeling, because it's unpredictable...you never really know when or how you will feel it...but I have never heard of a time when true love didn't require all of those things that I mentioned before.
I know that for me feelings of love come after a base of friendship and trust is firmly developed...and that can take a while. But I also know that it is worth the work to get there!
So I'm curious...what are your experiences in love?
Z
I have been in love before. But that love came through patience, time, commitment, dedication, and work...it didn't just HAPPEN like when you fall into something.
In this world of instantaneous-ness (no that's not a word, but no I don't really care :P) almost everything happens right away, and I think sometimes we forget that just because something isn't right there right now doesn't mean it's never going to happen. Love is a strange feeling, because it's unpredictable...you never really know when or how you will feel it...but I have never heard of a time when true love didn't require all of those things that I mentioned before.
I know that for me feelings of love come after a base of friendship and trust is firmly developed...and that can take a while. But I also know that it is worth the work to get there!
So I'm curious...what are your experiences in love?
Z
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Redefining Independence
I am woman hear me ROAR!
I am not a stereotypical girly-girl. I don't like the colour pink, I don't spend hours on my hair and make-up every morning, and I rarely talk on the phone for hours on end. I grew up doing what needed to be done. I have changed my own spark plugs, distributor cap and wires, and air filters; I have worked cleaning carpets, installing fireplaces, and doing every job on our family farm. I love canoeing, hiking, and camping...and by camping I mean every kind, including in the bush with no toilets/running water of any kind. I am just as happy in a wood shop as I am in my living room knitting.
I have always considered myself an independent woman. I am more than happy to do the jobs no other girls want to do, because it's messy, or icky, or requires muscles. I love the movie "Ever After", because the main character rescues herself...before the prince gets there...unlike in every other fairytale known to man. I despise the terms "woman's work" and "a man's job"...you'd better believe that if I'm going to be out there mucking out stalls and fixing irrigation I would be thrilled to have help cooking and cleaning!
Recently though my views have changed a tiny bit. Not on this whole theory of independence as a whole, but rather what it means to me...
When I moved to the Bigger City, and my roommate and I were looking around for a place to live we ended up finding an incredible basement suite for an amazing price in what became my Sleepy Town. The selling point of this particular suite? It has an honest to goodness wood burning fireplace! I have loved every minute of having it...even those minutes where I had to open doors and windows because it got too smokey haha. I may have even sat in my living room once or twice and just watched the fire burning...and thought about how wonderfully lucky we were to find this place! I love chopping the kindling, building the fires, tending to them, adding wood, all of it! And to begin with I didn't really share those responsibilities well.
At the beginning of February I had some people over for a Double Date night. I was out for the afternoon, and we all came back together, so when we got here dinner needed to be finished...but it was cold, so the fire also needed to be started. After a minute of contemplation over how I was going to do everything that needed to be done I admitted that these 2 extremely capable men could probably handle the fire...and so I handed that over to them while us girls went to finish dinner. That night the boys took care of the fire. I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about it, but I was ok with it for the most part.
Since then there have been a few more nights of handing the fire over to the guys who happen to be around...and to be honest I haven't really thought too much about it. Last night though one of those original 2 guys was here again, and from the minute he walked in the door the fire was his...without being asked. This made me realize that I actually truly appreciated it! It was nice not to have to get up in the middle of dinner to turn the wood, or add another log. It was also nice not to have to verbally delegate the job. It was nice just to sit back, and let someone else do what needed to be done!
This is where the beginning of this entry runs into the story...the me of before yesterday probably would have said something to the effect of "it's my fire, I can do it, you don't have to worry about it, sit and relax..." Now though something has changed. I've realized that being independent doesn't always have to mean doing everything yourself...sometimes it can mean realizing that you are capable of doing something yourself, but sitting back, and letting someone else get the blessings of giving service...and enjoying being on the receiving end of that service!
Who knew that a simple fire could teach so much?
<3 Z
I am not a stereotypical girly-girl. I don't like the colour pink, I don't spend hours on my hair and make-up every morning, and I rarely talk on the phone for hours on end. I grew up doing what needed to be done. I have changed my own spark plugs, distributor cap and wires, and air filters; I have worked cleaning carpets, installing fireplaces, and doing every job on our family farm. I love canoeing, hiking, and camping...and by camping I mean every kind, including in the bush with no toilets/running water of any kind. I am just as happy in a wood shop as I am in my living room knitting.
I have always considered myself an independent woman. I am more than happy to do the jobs no other girls want to do, because it's messy, or icky, or requires muscles. I love the movie "Ever After", because the main character rescues herself...before the prince gets there...unlike in every other fairytale known to man. I despise the terms "woman's work" and "a man's job"...you'd better believe that if I'm going to be out there mucking out stalls and fixing irrigation I would be thrilled to have help cooking and cleaning!
Recently though my views have changed a tiny bit. Not on this whole theory of independence as a whole, but rather what it means to me...
When I moved to the Bigger City, and my roommate and I were looking around for a place to live we ended up finding an incredible basement suite for an amazing price in what became my Sleepy Town. The selling point of this particular suite? It has an honest to goodness wood burning fireplace! I have loved every minute of having it...even those minutes where I had to open doors and windows because it got too smokey haha. I may have even sat in my living room once or twice and just watched the fire burning...and thought about how wonderfully lucky we were to find this place! I love chopping the kindling, building the fires, tending to them, adding wood, all of it! And to begin with I didn't really share those responsibilities well.
At the beginning of February I had some people over for a Double Date night. I was out for the afternoon, and we all came back together, so when we got here dinner needed to be finished...but it was cold, so the fire also needed to be started. After a minute of contemplation over how I was going to do everything that needed to be done I admitted that these 2 extremely capable men could probably handle the fire...and so I handed that over to them while us girls went to finish dinner. That night the boys took care of the fire. I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about it, but I was ok with it for the most part.
Since then there have been a few more nights of handing the fire over to the guys who happen to be around...and to be honest I haven't really thought too much about it. Last night though one of those original 2 guys was here again, and from the minute he walked in the door the fire was his...without being asked. This made me realize that I actually truly appreciated it! It was nice not to have to get up in the middle of dinner to turn the wood, or add another log. It was also nice not to have to verbally delegate the job. It was nice just to sit back, and let someone else do what needed to be done!
This is where the beginning of this entry runs into the story...the me of before yesterday probably would have said something to the effect of "it's my fire, I can do it, you don't have to worry about it, sit and relax..." Now though something has changed. I've realized that being independent doesn't always have to mean doing everything yourself...sometimes it can mean realizing that you are capable of doing something yourself, but sitting back, and letting someone else get the blessings of giving service...and enjoying being on the receiving end of that service!
Who knew that a simple fire could teach so much?
<3 Z
Friday, February 10, 2012
Billy Joel Love
Alright, just putting this out there...I think Billy Joel is wonderful! Not only does he have a great story (it's not always easy to become famous), but I feel like he understands women.
I understand that that is a big claim, but have you ever heard the song "Tell her about it"? If you haven't, you should! Really, life is all about communication. If you don't talk about things, seemingly important or unimportant, how are you ever going to get to know someone? And once you know that person the communication needs to continue in order to grow together rather than apart. This is true in any relationship, romantic or otherwise.
Then there's "She's got a way". This song is the way to make any woman in your life feel special! Maybe it's too sentimental for some people, but I absolutely love it. Honestly...the song makes me melt.
He has so many other good ones too, and lots of fun ones, but those 2 are my absolute favourites...and I may listen to them way to much! Are you a fan? What are your favourite songs by him?
<3 Z
I understand that that is a big claim, but have you ever heard the song "Tell her about it"? If you haven't, you should! Really, life is all about communication. If you don't talk about things, seemingly important or unimportant, how are you ever going to get to know someone? And once you know that person the communication needs to continue in order to grow together rather than apart. This is true in any relationship, romantic or otherwise.
Then there's "She's got a way". This song is the way to make any woman in your life feel special! Maybe it's too sentimental for some people, but I absolutely love it. Honestly...the song makes me melt.
He has so many other good ones too, and lots of fun ones, but those 2 are my absolute favourites...and I may listen to them way to much! Are you a fan? What are your favourite songs by him?
<3 Z
Friday, January 27, 2012
I love the Blood Suckers!
I remember a few years back when I first started seriously considering donating blood. I was nervous...probably somewhat due to the stories I had heard growing up of my dad fainting in front of his football team when he went. (Dad...if you're reading this...I love you! haha) I found though that the more "frequent donors" I talked to the less scary it sounded. I made 3 appointments back while I was living in the City, but had to cancel each time because I got sick just before.
When I moved to the Little Town I temporarily lost the drive that I needed in order to make the commitment to make the journey to the closest clinic (now 45 minutes 1 way to the closest temporary one, and 1.5 hrs to the closest permanent one). I still wanted to do it...someday...but I didn't really put the effort into making it happen.
Last year though, just before my move, I went to visit my little sister. On the way to her house I heard an ad on the radio by Canadian Blood Services asking people to donate for the long weekend. I was tired, and feeling very impressionable...and since she had given me free reign to plan out our weekend I decided that was something we were going to do! We answered all the questions right and made our appointments that evening for the following day. (What can I say? ...Don't ask me to make plans when I'm tired haha).
I was still a little nervous as we arrived at the clinic, but that soon went away with the help of friendly and informative staff, nurses, and phlebotomists (Just as an aside...if I ever decide to change careers I am going to become a phlebotomist! Not only does it sound cool, but it just rocks as a job in general). Everything went smoothly, we got to watch some Mr. Bean while we were making our donations, and we were given 1st time stickers, and pins, and all the cookies and juice we wanted when we were done!
A few weeks later I got my card in the mail, making me an official donor, and informing me of my blood type. All in all it was a totally positive experience, and actually a lot of fun. I went back in November with a couple of friends in the Bigger City (ironically the clinic is still about a 35ish minute drive from my Sleepy Town, but since I am working in the Bigger City it doesn't seem that hard to get to anymore). We raced to see who would get the fastest time, and had a ton of fun while we were there. Then I went again last week with a different friend (it was her first time...yippee!).
So, why do I donate blood? Well, I consider it a privilege. I have the opportunity to help 3 people every 58 days. Not everyone can do that...and I am very lucky that I can. It can be a lot of fun going with a group of people. It can give you a chance to get to know others better and make new friends. It is actually quite relaxing...both clinics that I've been to everyone is calm and smiling and happy...because anyone there is there because they want to be! There's no rushing or stress that you find most other places these days. It doesn't take long...and it's easy to fit in around other things. And to top it all off you get a mini check-up and free cookies and juice!
Maybe YOU can come with me next time :)
<3 Z
When I moved to the Little Town I temporarily lost the drive that I needed in order to make the commitment to make the journey to the closest clinic (now 45 minutes 1 way to the closest temporary one, and 1.5 hrs to the closest permanent one). I still wanted to do it...someday...but I didn't really put the effort into making it happen.
Last year though, just before my move, I went to visit my little sister. On the way to her house I heard an ad on the radio by Canadian Blood Services asking people to donate for the long weekend. I was tired, and feeling very impressionable...and since she had given me free reign to plan out our weekend I decided that was something we were going to do! We answered all the questions right and made our appointments that evening for the following day. (What can I say? ...Don't ask me to make plans when I'm tired haha).
I was still a little nervous as we arrived at the clinic, but that soon went away with the help of friendly and informative staff, nurses, and phlebotomists (Just as an aside...if I ever decide to change careers I am going to become a phlebotomist! Not only does it sound cool, but it just rocks as a job in general). Everything went smoothly, we got to watch some Mr. Bean while we were making our donations, and we were given 1st time stickers, and pins, and all the cookies and juice we wanted when we were done!
A few weeks later I got my card in the mail, making me an official donor, and informing me of my blood type. All in all it was a totally positive experience, and actually a lot of fun. I went back in November with a couple of friends in the Bigger City (ironically the clinic is still about a 35ish minute drive from my Sleepy Town, but since I am working in the Bigger City it doesn't seem that hard to get to anymore). We raced to see who would get the fastest time, and had a ton of fun while we were there. Then I went again last week with a different friend (it was her first time...yippee!).
So, why do I donate blood? Well, I consider it a privilege. I have the opportunity to help 3 people every 58 days. Not everyone can do that...and I am very lucky that I can. It can be a lot of fun going with a group of people. It can give you a chance to get to know others better and make new friends. It is actually quite relaxing...both clinics that I've been to everyone is calm and smiling and happy...because anyone there is there because they want to be! There's no rushing or stress that you find most other places these days. It doesn't take long...and it's easy to fit in around other things. And to top it all off you get a mini check-up and free cookies and juice!
Maybe YOU can come with me next time :)
<3 Z
Sunday, January 8, 2012
What do you want to be?
Let me preface this post by saying that I have struggled with whether or not to write on this subject here many times. Sometimes it's a scary thing making yourself vulnerable and then posting it on the internet for all to read. Having said that though ultimately my decision is to write it, because maybe there's someone else out there feeling the same way that I am who can gain some comfort through my words...even if it's just to know that you are not alone. I would also like to say how difficult it is writing this knowing that there are some people who know me who will be reading it. If I was simply writing it for people I didn't know it would be much easier. Please understand as you read this that this topic is a difficult one for me. I am writing because I feel sometimes that it is the best way to sort out my thoughts, and because it helps me to gain strength in my belief in myself and my trust in my Heavenly Father. I would ask that if you have positive comments or words of wisdom for me please share...but also please be sensitive to the fact that this is not easy, and if you have negative comments I would prefer that you keep them to yourself.
Alright, now that all of that is out of the way I'll begin.
When I was in Senior Kindergarten (4 or 5 years old) my teacher once asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. My reply was "a Mom". She said "that's very nice dear, but I mean what job would you like to have"? I couldn't answer. When I got home I vividly remember looking at my own mother and asking "Isn't being a mother enough?" I had no greater desire than that of motherhood.
Fast forward a few years to when I was a teenager. Everyone around me seemed to be asking what I wanted out of life. I now had other answers. There were many other things that I wanted to do with my life. My desire to become a mother was still one of my top goals in my thoughts, but the few times that I let it out I was often mocked...so I learned not to talk about it. In my head though I always thought that I'd get married young, and start my family early. Never in a million years would it have occured to me that I would be where I am now...24, and single.
It hasn't been easy watching everyone around me moving forward with their lives...getting married and having children...in fact at times I have felt immense pain at the fact that I have not yet had this opportunity. I have endured questions about my life and where it's headed for a long time, and I sometimes feel like I'm stuck. I am at a point in my life where I can no longer rely only on myself to continue along the path that I wish to be on. Having said that I have come to the realization that it is up to me to do all I can do, and then be patient and trust in the Lord's plan (and timing).
Today someone that I don't know very well asked me if I'd like to be a mother one day. I answered in the affirmative of course...but to my surprize the question wasn't accompanied by the ache that I have become accustomed to. It took me a few minutes to realize that this is because I have come to the point where I have enough faith in promises that the Lord has made to me that I am ok with working on his timeline. I don't know how I got there, or why it was today that I finally was able to feel that peace, but I was overcome with gratitude for that little piece of understanding.
Today in church we sang a hymn that has always had special meaning to me. Some of the lyrics go like this...
"Our Saviour's Love shines like the sun with perfect light,
as from above it breaks through clouds of strife...
...Loud may the sound of hope ring 'till all doubt departs
and we are bound to Him by loving ties..."
(parts of verses 1 and 2 of "Our Saviour's Love" text by Edward L. Hart)
I know with all of my heart that the Lord does love me. That I am His child, and he cares. He knows me, and along with that knowledge He understands my strengths and my weaknesses...and is always there to provide comfort as soon as I am willing to accept it.
I hope that if you ever feel inadequate, or lost as to where you are in life you can remember that the Lord is there to help you too :)
Thanks for listening!
Z
Alright, now that all of that is out of the way I'll begin.
When I was in Senior Kindergarten (4 or 5 years old) my teacher once asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. My reply was "a Mom". She said "that's very nice dear, but I mean what job would you like to have"? I couldn't answer. When I got home I vividly remember looking at my own mother and asking "Isn't being a mother enough?" I had no greater desire than that of motherhood.
Fast forward a few years to when I was a teenager. Everyone around me seemed to be asking what I wanted out of life. I now had other answers. There were many other things that I wanted to do with my life. My desire to become a mother was still one of my top goals in my thoughts, but the few times that I let it out I was often mocked...so I learned not to talk about it. In my head though I always thought that I'd get married young, and start my family early. Never in a million years would it have occured to me that I would be where I am now...24, and single.
It hasn't been easy watching everyone around me moving forward with their lives...getting married and having children...in fact at times I have felt immense pain at the fact that I have not yet had this opportunity. I have endured questions about my life and where it's headed for a long time, and I sometimes feel like I'm stuck. I am at a point in my life where I can no longer rely only on myself to continue along the path that I wish to be on. Having said that I have come to the realization that it is up to me to do all I can do, and then be patient and trust in the Lord's plan (and timing).
Today someone that I don't know very well asked me if I'd like to be a mother one day. I answered in the affirmative of course...but to my surprize the question wasn't accompanied by the ache that I have become accustomed to. It took me a few minutes to realize that this is because I have come to the point where I have enough faith in promises that the Lord has made to me that I am ok with working on his timeline. I don't know how I got there, or why it was today that I finally was able to feel that peace, but I was overcome with gratitude for that little piece of understanding.
Today in church we sang a hymn that has always had special meaning to me. Some of the lyrics go like this...
"Our Saviour's Love shines like the sun with perfect light,
as from above it breaks through clouds of strife...
...Loud may the sound of hope ring 'till all doubt departs
and we are bound to Him by loving ties..."
(parts of verses 1 and 2 of "Our Saviour's Love" text by Edward L. Hart)
I know with all of my heart that the Lord does love me. That I am His child, and he cares. He knows me, and along with that knowledge He understands my strengths and my weaknesses...and is always there to provide comfort as soon as I am willing to accept it.
I hope that if you ever feel inadequate, or lost as to where you are in life you can remember that the Lord is there to help you too :)
Thanks for listening!
Z
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