Ok...I'm willing to admit it. I've been gone for quite a while.
2 days after the accident I was asked to be the co-chair of a committee to plan a YSA conference for 200 young single adults in the Bigger City. No big deal right? Hahaha WRONG. Besides the fact that my co-chair was a bridesmaid in a wedding, and then left to Europe for 2 weeks (and in the meantime was working 3 jobs) we only had 2 months to plan the whole thing. When I accepted this is what I wrote:
"I would be happy to be in a shared leadership role for the conference...which I'm sure I'll probably regret saying at some point, but I can do that."
That was on May 25. The conference started on July 29. 65 days. In that time I didn't just plan the conference...I continued to work full time, shot photos almost every weekend (including a wedding), participated in 3 local weekend YSA activities (and one super fun afternoon in an orchard following one of the activities), watched my brother in law graduate from University and my baby sister graduate from High School, went on a trip to Vancouver for me, spent some time with the family of a friend of mine while they were having their second baby, and started a second job.
Although most of those days are a total blur for me the conference was a big success! I couldn't have done it without my incredible committee members, and the wonderful leaders who were there to help out when needed. It was not an easy time. There was a fair amount of opposition at play at times, and I came close to my breaking point...but through it all I learned so much about myself. I learned my limits, and I learned that at times it's important to recognize limits, but push them just a little bit further. I learned that independence isn't always the best way, and that sometimes it's important to rely on others, and trust that they will do the very best job they can. I also learned that prayers do get answered...but not always on your timetable. I was extremely impressed by the group of YSA that came to the conference. Everyone was very respectful and willing to help out above and beyond what was expected. Our keynote speakers even commented on how wonderful everyone was during their address...at 9:00 am on a Saturday morning. People noticed how wonderful the group was at the beach. To top it all off the amount of gratitude expressed by many attendees was overwhelming to me...I didn't even know what to say anymore by the end of it.
All in all I'm happy to report that not only did I not regret accepting this leadership role, but I am so very grateful for all that this opportunity taught me, and how it strengthened my faith and testimony beyond anything I could have dreamed.
So what's the excuse for my absence in the last 3 weeks since the conference ended? Well, I don't really have one. There were some pretty incredible guys that I had the chance to get to know the weekend of the conference, and I've had the opportunity to spend some time with a couple of them since. I have started yet another evening job, so now that's 3 nights a week that I'm working now. I've done 2 photo shoots...and caught up on editing that I had fallen behind on while planning. I went to the City for a wonderful weekend. I went to the second street dance of the summer in the Desert Town...reaching my goal of going to both of them this summer...while there I won 4 gift certificates to local shops, saw some friends I hadn't seen in a while, danced with my little brother, got picked up (which, although it felt nice in some ways, made me realize that I'm never going to go to a street dance by myself ever again lol), and had a ton of fun. This past weekend I have been down with a cold, which has given me a good reminder to slow down, and it's given me some time to catch up on the things I haven't found time for recently...such as blogging.
This past week there have been some pretty major changes that have come up in my life, and the life of my family...and although I'm not quite ready to elaborate on them yet it will be coming soon...so stay posted!
In the LDS hymnbook there is a song called "When Faith Endures" (hymn 128). It's a simple song that most people just pass by, but it has been a source of strength to me these last couple of months...and I have a feeling it will continue to be on my mind for the next little while as well. The words of the hymn are:
"I will not doubt, I will not fear; God's love and strength are always near. His promised gift helps me to find an inner strength and peace of mind. I give the Father willingly my trust, my prayers, humility. His spirit guides, His love assures that Fear Departs when Faith Endures."
So simple, but so powerful. If you're going through a difficult time in your life, and you just need some extra strength try just repeating those words a few times. It sounds crazy I'm sure, but it truly helps. If you don't believe in God, then replace the words with whatever you do believe in...I'm sure it will help you too.
Sometimes when I think I'm at the end of my rope...when I just can't do anymore, and if I take one more step I'm sure I'm going to fall...that's when I learn the most about myself. And I always look back on those situations with intense gratitude for the learning and growth that I was able to achieve through them. Although it would often be easier to just not have to live with those times life isn't about taking the easy route...it's about learning, and growing, and building relationships, and strong foundations to fall back on when you just can't do it yourself anymore.
Have a great week, and remember to Smile!
Z
