Have you ever had one of those puzzle pieces that has fallen out of the box, and you can't figure out which puzzle it belongs to, so you just put it on the shelf until you forget about it? Lately I've figured out how that piece feels.
I haven't written much about what it's like being a Nanny. I love it so much! It's such a rewarding job, and so full of funny moments. Today on our way home after library class Miss Munchkin had a conversation with Baby Munchkin that cracked me up! It played out like this...
Miss M: "Baby M can you say glasses?"
Baby M tries
Miss M: "Baby M can you say button?"
Baby M tries
Miss M: "Baby M can you say car?"
Baby M tries
Miss M: "Baby M can you say Yaya? (the girl's name for me)"
Baby M: "Yup!"
It made me laugh out loud. It really is wonderful watching them learn and grow. I am so blessed to work for such amazing families who treat me with kindness and love.
No matter how amazing it is though it's also the reason I feel like that puzzle piece on the shelf. 9 hours of the day I get to sing songs, read books, snuggle, dance, imagine, wrestle, kiss boo boos better, swing at the playground, make baby food, go for walks, and have play dates. I get to talk to moms, enjoy 'adult time', and learn from them. I get to enjoy every minute of having little ones around who look up to me, and love me.
When supper time rolls around though I give them back. I get to head back home and be an adult. So my puzzle piece doesn't quite fit in the 'caregiver' puzzle.
When I go home I am all of a sudden back to being a young single adult. I can do what I want when I want. Nobody will scream if I don't have dinner ready by a certain time. Nobody is there to ask me to help fix a broken toy. I get to be free. But I feel like I don't quite fit there either. I don't have endless energy to stay out until all hours, or even the desire to. My "today at work" stories are all about kids, and don't really get a big response from the other YSAs. I don't often go out on dates, and when people come over I tend to do the cooking and cleaning around them while they play games, and talk. More often than not lately I feel separate from the group...like I'm just there out of convenience more than anything else. I feel like my piece doesn't quite go into that puzzle either.
I have been starting to feel a little bit forgotten lately...like it's not worth other's time to try to help me figure out which puzzle I might actually fit in to. I realize this isn't really anyone's fault but mine. As I try to solve the mystery though, and find my puzzle box I am grateful to know that I will always fit in the box marked "Daughters of God". No matter how alone and forgotten I feel I know that my Heavenly Father is always there to listen to me, and help guide my path, and for that I am truly grateful...
Z
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