Gotta be Somebody...

Yesterday as HusB and I were driving to work Nickelback's Gotta Be Somebody came on the radio.  In case you've never heard it before here are some of the lyrics:

This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing
I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting
Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holdin' my breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There's gotta be somebody for me like that.
'Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.

This is a song that I used to belt out - didn't matter where it was - if I heard it I was singing it!  Sometimes it would be accompanied by a few tears and questions about whether or not there really was someone out there for me...but I hoped there was!

August has become a really special month for me since then, because it marks some pretty important anniversaries for HusB and I...3 years ago this month we met...and talked about getting married...and booked our wedding...and made plans for where we would live, and figured out how to make that happen...all in the space of 19 days!  We didn't have our first date or get engaged officially until September - I mean we aren't crazy or anything  (hahahahahaha)!

In the last 3 years a lot has happened that neither of us ever anticipated.  We have lived in 3 houses in 2 cities.  We have lost jobs, struggled to make ends meet, put up with crazy schedules at crappy jobs.  We have struggled to be independent.  We have had to rely on others (and we have been so grateful for the extra support and love we have felt at those times!)

And of course we have dealt with the unexpected journey of infertility.  It amazes me over and over just how completely infertility takes over one's life!  We have now seen a total of 10 different doctors (in 4 cities) since starting our journey down this path, and we still have minimal answers at best.  Last week we had yet another doctor tell us that my bloodwork is fine and no follow up is needed (a doctor that I waited 6 months and drove a total of 8 hours to see).  I have never felt such pain and frustration with anything as I do whenever I see how much infertility has changed our lives.  But I am so grateful to have my HusB as my partner through all of this.  He is so supportive and caring towards me.  Sometimes I don't even know how to handle me in the midst of all of this, but he does it perfectly.   He doesn't question me when pregnancy announcements from others hit me hard...he is always just waiting there with a hug.  And when I do handle them ok in the moment he always checks in with me later that day and lets me cry it out then when I need to.  He is constantly aware of me and my needs, and I am perpetually grateful to him for that.

So yes...there was (and is) somebody for me.  I can't say that the moment that we met played out like a movie scene - unless it was a scene from a really awkward teen comedy haha - but  my HusB is the partner that I always dreamed that I would find...and I am so grateful that we get to spend forever together!

(And I totally loved being able to finally listen to that song and know that I found him!!!)

Until next time...
Z <3