Today I just feel so blessed to have had a chance to live my life. Is that strange? Maybe so, but let me explain.
Yesterday I worked a shift that went from 1:30 pm - 1 am. After getting home at 1:30 I was so wound up from forcing myself to stay awake for so long that I couldn't sleep...so I caught up on reading some friend's blogs, watched a couple shows, and finally fell asleep sometime between 2:30 and 3. Now, maybe to some of you that doesn't seem that bad, but you have to understand that I'm getting older, and having already pulled off a 3:30 am bedtime once this week my body was complaining when I got up this morning. Part of that may have been a result of knowing that my day today would consist of meetings, etc at the church from 10 am - 8:45 pm. For the first time in a long time I truly struggled getting up, and I felt quite unmotivated for my day.
After making it through my first meeting and lesson I sat in the second lesson block listening to a wonderful lesson on service and helping to make other's lives better through the little things and I began to realize that I was no longer tired...in fact I felt really happy to be there, and my motivation started to return. This continued through the rest of the day, and I am so grateful for that! Besides a small emotional hiccup during a broadcast this afternoon I got through everything quite well I think!
The homestretch of the day for me was during a musical presentation concert tonight. As I got to sit in the pre-performance run through I felt an overwhelming gratitude for being where I am right now. I am grateful for a Father in Heaven who knows me and understands my needs. I am so grateful for a Saviour who loves me unconditionally, and is always there for me through prayer when I need him. I am grateful to my earthly parents who taught me how to sing, and supported me in that as I grew. I am grateful to have music in my life, and be able to share it with others. And lastly, I am grateful for a Missionary who, as he was planning the night of music tonight, chose to take a chance and asked me to participate, never having heard me sing before. I have truly been missing singing in my life lately, and have been blessed with an opportunity to sing now the last 2 weeks, and next week again!
So that's why I am so happy that I got to live my life today. Because I got to feel that beautiful feeling of peace and gratitude that often eludes me in my busy schedule. And it was even sweeter because of the rough start I had this morning! Life is truly amazing, and I am so thankful for those moments when I am reminded of that.
On my way home tonight I was listening to a CD that I haven't heard in a while, and a song that I have truly loved from the first time I heard it came on. The lyrics go like this...
"I see an old woman rocking there
The sun shining softly on her silver hair
I wonder the secrets she holds deep inside
Is she smiling or hiding a tear in her eye?
She watches our day as her story unfolds
For you see, she is you grown old.
And with every decision you make today
You're creating the woman you'll be someday.
Just for now the old woman depends on you
She waits and she watches as you make her dreams come true..."
I love the perspective that this song gives me. It continues, but I figured that was enough to get the point across. Each day I truly hope that I am doing all I can be to be making her dreams come true...because I can tell you she has a lot! I am so thankful for the days that I have like today when I really feel like I am exactly where I need to be right in this moment. It helps me to feel like I am heading down the path I should be.
Always remember to trust the Lord and His plan for you. We are so lucky that He can see further down our path than we can :)
Love,
Z
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